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Murray: A wish for a newly married son

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After one day of being a newlywed, I remember having a sore throat and being worried about coming down with something just as my new husband and I were about to embark on our honeymoon to Cancun. We arrived at our hotel in Minneapolis the night before our flight and I took cold medicine and hoped my cough drops might soothe my scratchy throat.

That night I knew I had married the right guy. He didn’t worry about the possibility of our honeymoon being ruined. He didn’t mind that my cold medicine put me to sleep. He didn’t berate me for not getting enough sleep in the weeks leading up to our wedding. He just kissed me on my forehead and told me everything would be alright.

Michelle Sprout Murray

Michelle Sprout Murray

Here’s the thing … when you find someone who kisses you on your forehead, hold on to that person forever. It’s that kiss that sealed the deal on knowing the rest of my married life would be pretty great.

It turns out his calmness is an antidote to my craziness. His quiet demeanor is a nice change from my nonstop chatter. His gentle presence is a complement to my ever-present worrying about life.

Although I shouldn’t put this in print so much as it might come back to haunt me, my mom was right in her advice about who to look for in a forever partner. “Look for someone who is your best friend,” she always said, and I always laughed when she did. Why would I do that when I had friends galore?

Perhaps it’s because of moments when I just need to vent to someone. Maybe it’s because I love having a partner who loves doing the same things I do. Possibly it’s because I just may need kissing on my forehead much more than the average person does.

This forehead-kisser of mine even has the temperature-detecting gene that my mom has. It didn’t take long for him to “feel my head” and deliver a heartfelt “Awwww…” while doing so…just like Mom did whenever I thought I might have a fever. I can truly tell you that my husband has taken care of me through two pregnancies containing several months on bedrest, as well as other maladies, and he never failed to give me the sympathy that I’ve craved.

THIS is marriage. It’s not just getting along when all is right with your world. It’s getting along when your world is topsy-turvy, upside down and everywhere in between.

After the wedding of our oldest son, Nic, I want to wish him the type of married life that my husband and I have had. I want him to go to his new wife, Lauren, when he has important news to share, be it spectacular or heart-wrenching. I want him to look at her and smile…even (or especially) when she might not feel like smiling herself. I want him to listen to her, even when she goes on and on about something he might not find particularly riveting. I want him to laugh with her, because laughter in a household is worth more than gold. I want him to be nice to her parents, because they are the ones who are responsible for bringing her into this world. I want him to tell his future children stories about their grandparents and visit them often. I want him to show his family that he loves them, along with telling them…every single day.

And perhaps more than anything, I want him to be a forehead-kisser…just like his dad.

Michelle Sprout Murray is a writer who lives in Mason City. She may be reached at sproutmurray@gmail.com.

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